He Knows When You Touch Yourself
by Koakuma Tsuri
Summary: 3/100: Cat. Genesis discovers his little secret admirer. Genesis/Cait Sith Crack Yaoi Implied Sephiroth/Genesis. For and Co-written by Dom.


My dears, you have NO idea why you clicked this, do you?  
To be honest, I have no idea why I let **Dom** coerce me into co-writing this abomination with him.  
ANYTHING that doesn't involve some Sephi/Gen was ALL HIM.  
I've added bits in to his bits to make it more… friendly?

* * *

**Cat**

He Knows When You Touch Yourself…  
aka  
Ceiling Cat Sees You Masturbate

_Genesis/Cait-Sith_

_So much for that being a routine mission_, Genesis hissed.

It may have started off that way, at least in Lazard's eyes, but when those bastard AVALANCHE people decided to wreak havoc and blow up a couple a research facilities where captive creatures were being experimented on, leaving him, and him alone since Angeal and Sephiroth were away in Nibelheim, to either kill or capture the escapees whilst dodging bullets from the renegades and then, only then, could he actually go and pick up the Director's new prescription glasses.

He shrugged his long, scarlet jacket off his broad shoulders and carefully slung it over the back of his sofa. The sofa that was still in disorder from when he had said "see you later" to Sephiroth without opening his mouth… much.

He smirked whilst he unfastened his braces next, then folded them over his coat before continuing onwards.

As always, his small bathroom was delightfully cold, playing across his naked skin, causing fair hairs to rise. There were shivers that he would find tantalizingly delicious on his lover r across his body. He lowered his trousers, tracing his legs back to his thighs with long, pale fingers. Smiling contently to himself, he turned around and slipped into the shower and flicked the switch, groaning quietly as the warming water rained down on him, slipping like steams along the dips and curves of his muscles; adding an aesthetic glimmer to already milky flesh. It reminded him of how Sephiroth's skin glistened when moist with sweat, how the white of his liquids flowed down those gorgeous abs; down that beautiful slim face.

Smirking once more, he gently dragged his fingers along the length of his soft member: letting out a soft hiss through his teeth. Once again, his narcissism had broken his resolve to abstain from euphoria until his lover returned, but as his hand cupped around his flesh, his thoughts didn't linger on such trivia. He gave himself a slow rhythm and found a compremise that satisfied his abstinence – he would not bring himself to the point of release, simply fall on his face before the jump into ecstasy. His right hand dropped down to his side; he rested his forehead against the steamy white tiles and caught his breath. Aquamarine eyes were half-closed and stared blindly at the wall before him, before his left hand slid between his chest and the cold ceramic and pushed himself back into an upright position. Sighing, Genesis wrapped his fingers around a shampoo bottle (a brand he'd only dare use when Sephiroth wasn't around, for it was Sephiroth's shampoo, and thus was used with the sanction of death), and poured a small amount onto his hand before working it into his soaking copper tresses. He always found that haircare was his main priority next to outshining Sephiroth – yet more narcissism, but it was to be expected, right?

With a quick twist of his supple wrist, the water stopped and he stepped out from the 2x2 glass cage and grabbed the nearest towel from the rack and tying it securely around his trim waist. Its soft green texture reaked of Sephiroth, that horribly addictive fresh coconut and vanilla moisturising milk – Genesis' own moisturizer (Funny how _he_ couldn't afflict a punishment upon its use) - which he was quick to grab possessively and squeeze onto moist fingers, trailing the cold white substance down his strong chest.

A pair of small black ears appeared from behind the bathroom door; belonging to a nervous looking feline, who watched from his hiding spot. He peered in further as the redhead slowly caressed the milky white fluid into his supple skin.  
The robotic feline let out a quiet gasp as his eyes slowly trailed along the figure's perfect features, the way his waist curved beautifully into those lean hips; the healing traces of his subservience that scarred his flesh – claw marks, bite marks and scrapes from wicked blades.  
Hoping his outburst hadn't drawn attention; Cait darted stealthily into the bathroom, finding cover behind the small cabinet besides where Genesis stood.

Only recently had the robot taken control of itself, (somehow, because Reeve wouldn't be so perverted as to watch the 1st Class this way) and he had cultivated quite predilection to Genesis and regularly found himself a voyeur to his ritual, even when Sephiroth was there. Only until recently, he had summoned enough bravery to get closer. His paws wrapped around the edge of the cabinet and he peered round again, a smile clear and wide on his face.

Genesis turned his head quickly to look at nothing but a blur, drops of water flicking from his auburn hair. He tightened the towel around his waist as he stood up and walked slowly over to the door that he remembered shutting. His slender fingers wrapped around the doorframe, and he glanced up and down the corridor but found no evidence of another. Rolling his eyes, he spun back round to continue his moisturizing. As he turned, there was a small presence by his feet, unfamiliar, yet, soothing. Looking slowly down, his eyes locked with those of the cat in front of him, looking up at his face, still grinning, albeit tainted with fear.

"Uh..." This was all the cat could say at that moment of time.

Genesis stood there, and just blinked.  
Green eyes gazed down into the feline's, but they quickly snapped away in distain.

"E-excuse me, Commander Rhapsodos, but I was a-wonderin' you… you seem a wee bit lonely," He sat on his hind legs, front paws on Genesis' legs.

The auburn haired male scowled and pushed the cat to the floor. "Scram Cait." He said simply and turned away. "I'm 'lonely' because I just got out of the shower,"

"So un-lonely people touch themselves and wish for their lovers to come home quickly?" Cait Sith asked curiously.

Sending the black and white creature a glare out of the corner of his eye, Genesis stormed out of the bathroom and into the master bedroom. Cait Sith sighed and trotted after him. He jumped up onto the bed and corrected the position of the crown on his head.

The redhead glanced over to the bed and frowned again. "What the hell do you want, you annoying robot?!"

The cat smiled and laid down, the typical, regal sphinx-like pose. "Aye, annoying yet hopeless adorable, don't you think? The truth is Commander Rhapsodos… I… I want you," He said, shyness was heavily laden in his accented voice.

Almost breaking out laughing, Genesis perched awkwardly on the edge of his own bed, his left eye occasionally giving a slight twitch. "Sorry Cait, I kinda like my cats to have green eyes, a shitty attitude and long silver hair," He muttered and glanced dreamily at his pillow where the evidence of Sephiroth's presence could be found across the linens. "Not that I would have a cat,"

"You strike me as the feline type,"

"That's not the point," The redhead snapped, but regardless, the robot clambered up onto the damp down that was slung across his lap and started tracing circles with one of his digits. Bands of red, similar colour to his hair appeared across his face, as the cat rubbed in the lotion that he had missed.

Bewildered beyond belief, Genesis didn't put up much of a struggle as he was pushed onto his back and Cait transferred to his chest and started rubbing his soft skin. The cat leant forward and kissed lightly, slowly making his was up to Genesis' lips. He looked innocently at the SOLDIER before making his move and pressed his mouth against the human's. They were locked in an unimaginable state.

Cait's tongue scraped uncomfortably at Genesis' lips, but he refused access, still getting over the fact he was technically being molested by a robotic feline with a weird accent.

Defeated but not discouraged, Cait Sith moved away from that stubborn mouth, preferring to sensually lick down the redhead's pale neck. He'd seen many a time how Genesis loved how Sephiroth paid so much attention to this area, and if comprehensibly possible, it was almost as sensitive as his member.

Cait Sith smiled from the thought – the memory – and how Genesis bit back an unwanted mewl of liking.

What neither of them expected – or wanted for that matter – was the door to swing open and one very excited Sephiroth to stand in the bedroom doorway, a rucksack still slung over one shoulder, fresh from his travel back from Nibelheim. He'd smelt the coconut and vanilla in the air and was eager to fuck his little redhead into the mattress. His green eyes wandered leisurely up Genesis' bare legs; that precariously placed towel, lean abdomen but stopped to frown at the black and white mass of fur that sprawled out over his chest.

Genesis rose his head, looking over the top of charcoal ears and smiled as warmly as he could to his lover; face red with embarrassment.

"This isn't what it looks like,"

* * *

No offence to any Scottish readers out there over the "weird" accent thing, I myself am part Scottish and the accent mostly my Irish one comes out in conversation sometimes...

**Lets list the reasons why I hate this story:**

ITS CAIT SITH FOR GODS SAKE  
Yes he's funny and somewhat adorable BUT NOT when he's kissing Genesis.  
I (gothicdragon752) had NO idea that Dom was going to make it like… that… he just said something about Cait Sith being a dirty, lustful voyeur, not that he'd take ACTION.  
It makes me want to **DIE**.  
I'm so sorry to those who read this.  
I'm so sorry I uploaded it… I even took part in **WRITING** it…. cries  
**I promise you, I'll make up for it… with thousands of S/G, G/A, G/Z, G/C, G/L stories!!**


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